Are there some positives to being a recluse?

Don’t bother reading if you are easily offended. That was your warning. If you continue to read, then get offended, then you have no reason to be offended, right? (Yes, I know it doesn’t quite work like that - and curiosity just got the better of some of you.)

Well, a few days ago I blogged about my personal life, and playground problems again. I never published it - the real value was found in simply writing it down, and not boring the web with details. But in a nutshell, I was suggesting that I am having problems with hormones big-time - weeping most mornings for no reason at all, and any little sunshine the week may send me makes things just a tiny bit better.

On the playground front - well, I’ve come to a stability thing there - I accept that I don’t particularly clique with many on the playground, but there are a couple of women whom I thought I got on with - they work and I very rarely see them to speak with them at all.

That took me to this morning, where one of the women actually arrived at school, and there we were, walking side by side along paths to and fro school with our daughters -who are best friends at school - and I found I couldn’t start any conversation.

She has a smaller boy - around two years old, and is also now heavily pregnant with their third child. I think sometimes that while many mothers there are talking about their toddlers and comparing notes on development etc, that I get left out of that topic because we only have the one child. But that’s no reason behind why I couldn’t at least attempt to talk about the upcoming nativity play or something. Anything.

Five months ago, I was a thriving manager of a staff of over twenty. My whole day was talking, guiding, building teams, sorting out problems and issues, meetings, and lunches and having a good laugh too. Yet now I can’t bring myself to talk at all.

And I’ve only myself to blame. But rather than kicking myself, I’m wondering if I can work on this. Perhaps I can make the best of my long days by working in the phone sex-talk industry or something. I could be doing the ironing, while grunting over the phone.

Just kidding! 

Comments

[Catriona]

I can just hear you now...ooo, yessss, oh, baby! <hee hee!> If we were closer (with no ocean between) I'd come over and take you to lunch...we'd have such a laugh! So, here's a BIG VIRTUAL HUG instead. Remember,you don't have to be one of the 'playground crowd' to be a special person...you already are a special person. You'll click with a new acquaintance or two when the time is right...don't sweat it. XXXOOO