Very Worried, but Considering the Options

Hmmm, I’m sitting here on a Sunday, with too much to do, and too much on my mind. I’ve not been successful in contacting or getting responses back from local employers offering part-time work I might be good at. Part-time jobs are golden around here, and filled quickly - normally by people who are known by other staff members. I’m up against a population of thousands of mothers after those golden little jobs.

Even the local diary and school is against my search. The diary is advertising vacancies, but they’re from 6am - 12 noon, or 6pm to 12 midnight. So who gets my daughter to school at 9am then? Or who picks her up at 5:45pm when the school’s after-school club tosses her out? My husband doesn’t get home until after 6pm, if we’re lucky. And that job insists he’s away in London most weeks, or sometimes in India for a week. 

I know how the other parents do it around here - as they all seem to work. They all have grandparents or siblings living in the village or close by.  Cousins arrive at school with each other, and often are in the same classes. Nanas, grans, grandmas or nannies are here also, lined up with me on several days a week to pick up their grandchildren from school.

I looked into our budget on Friday. We have none. My husband makes enough money to support our mortgage, our bills (unless something goes wrong) and his commuting costs, and that’s it. My own budget for a ridiculous £20 per week spending money isn’t even covered within that. Let alone any presents for Christmas, or any family holidays. We’ve been to the supermarket today, and no matter what budget food we are looking into, we can’t bring that cost down. It’s especially expensive now, as our daughter is going to school and needs “healthy” packed lunches or we can’t afford for her to even have those school cooked dinners - not at £1.85 per day. She’s very good at eating almost anything, thankfully - because she’s getting basically that - anything we can get off the specials aisle.

So, feeling rather worried, I celebrate the fact that the dog walks through the village countryside are really the lifestyle I wanted in the first place, and I and my somewhat poor but little family are getting much healthier. We are healthy, and have fun no matter what. The Autumn sunshine is worth sitting out in, and my daughter gets a lot of joy out of simply collecting acorns. And this cold Sunday afternoon, nothing beats sitting with a cuppa tea and watching a family DVD. How could any of this be wrong?

I’m not sure how to deal with the financial problems. I can no longer afford to maintain this blogsite or Digiscrap Zine, in time or monetary effort, and know that my best hope is concentrating all that free time on expending it on my scrap for hire business to start building that. So it may mean a reconsideration of some time expenditure and hobbies, and even the closure of a website, but despite my worry - life is good isn’t it? And things will pan out somehow.  

Comments

[Martha~Krash]

Michelle. I totally and completely understand what you're going through. I'm in the same situation myself, no family closer than 3hrs. away and friends that either are working or live too far themselves. I've worked for the gov. for the past going on 6yrs. now and am lucky I could work nights, of course I forgot what sleep was as I had to stay up during the day with children and tried desperately to catch a nap. This year I can't do that when called you back in. Dh took a 3rd shift position so I'm going to have to do some fast talking to get them to agree to the hours I need.
This has been our way of life for quite sometime now. I made what I think was the best decision for my family. Yes it gets tough, robbing Peter to pay Paul. It's stressful at times BUT I can tell you that you're right. It will work out in the end. Somehow the money is always there for what we need. Somehow we are able to keep plugging along though I have to admit it gets to be a PITA! Hang in there. Get your biz going (I'm trying desperately to do the same), and enjoy those walks:)

[Sharon]

Hope it works out for you Michelle - it is such a huge adjustment.

[Juliana]

Michelle,
I hope you the best in the decisions that lay ahead for you - I enjoy reading your blog here but don't want that to come at the cost of your personal sacrifice.
I went to compare British pounds to American dollars - and if I did it right, those are very expensive school lunches! I think that a simple lunch at our school costs about one pound.
Things will pan out, just as you say.

[Talena]

Michelle, I know what it's like to have to re-think priorities--been doing a lot of that here lately, too. I pray that whatever decision you make will be the right one for yourself and your family.